Today, I am coming out as poor.

We never qualified for food stamps, as we were never below the poverty line in San Francisco. But this did mean that we only had one income earner for a household of three. And we lived in a rent-controlled apartment for our entire lives. Without this, my parents could not have afforded to live in San Francisco. Lucky us!

Without a doubt, I am eternally grateful for my upbringing — loving parents, a roof over my head, food to eat, and never worried about where my next meal would come from. I definitely lived a privileged lifestyle, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t poor.

The Poverty Mindset

We suffered from what I now call a “poverty mindset.” Armed with my father’s fixed income, we never had to worry about food on the table, or paying the electricity bill, car payments, or rent. We had one car that took us everywhere or the bus.

But that did mean we always bought things on sale. I was never able to buy anything at the grocery store that wasn’t on sale. And I mean never.

The OG Minimalists

We were always trying to save money, cut costs, and buy things as little as possible. You could also say we were the “original minimalists.” But that’s not the whole truth. That’s the positive version of our nuanced reality.

I felt like we were constantly under the impression that we were poor, didn’t have enough to buy X, Y, or Z, and had to constantly save more money to make ends meet. Decisions that didn’t support this philosophy were met with anger and resentment.

So no travel. No cleaner, of course. No shopping with friends for unnecessary things, which was basically everything. No cell phone (and back when I was growing up, this was the best new thing). No learning how to drive to save money. No allowance. No TV (but this was mostly because my mother wanted me to study).

Grateful for What We Had

We did have one computer we all shared, we had a simple Saturn car, and we had free library books! The one splurge we had every week was watching a TV show or movie on the one computer that we had. And I’m grateful that I never had to worry about where my next meal was coming from, or where I could study safely, or whether or not I would have a roof over my head tomorrow.

Extreme Frugality Led to Working at Age 14

If we ever needed to buy anything, we spent days, weeks, and months, thinking about whether or not we really needed it. Think “extreme frugality.”

And of course, this also meant that I needed to start earning money as soon as possible. Without an allowance, I needed money to spend on shopping with my friends. To be honest, my mom was not a fan of me doing anything that wasn’t studying, but she still let me go. So I started working as soon as I turned 13.5. I worked at a summer camp for kids younger than me for my very first job. Then at 14, I got an even better job working at SF City Hall, doing all kinds of interesting work for a legislator. Not only did this give me a jump start in the world of corporate work, but I also learned how to earn my own money, save up, and buy what I wanted.

Even so, I couldn’t afford my own cell phone at the time. And not obtaining that, hurt the most. That was one of my most painful experiences, where I viscerally felt like we were poor. I begged and begged, but to no avail. Even if I earned my own money, my parents just didn’t want me to have one. So I moved on, begrudgingly. I kept studying, working, and hanging out with friends.

Getting into UC Berkeley

In my senior year of high school, I applied to a ton of universities, and got into UC Berkeley! It was my proudest moment to date. I was thrilled. I was ecstatic. I was so happy!

But all of this went out the door when I received the financial aid package. That’s when I realized I couldn’t afford to attend. This was devastating. When you want something so bad, and you get it, but then the carpet is taken from under you, it’s a life-altering moment.

The Moment I Realized I Couldn’t Afford UC Berkeley

I was utterly devastated. Fortunately, I had amazing Summer Search counselors, who were able to coach me on ways to save money — “don’t buy books Julie, just make copies; find cheaper housing on campus; don’t sign up for the campus dorm food; get a job and do the work-study financial aid; only obtain subsidized loans, if possible; and here, this is a list of scholarships you can start applying too, so you can make your dream school a reality.”

My parents paid as much as they could at the time, which was about 25% of the cost. I diligently applied to every scholarship opportunity, worked extremely hard to put forward the best scholarship applications, conducted interviews, and obtained at least 5 separate scholarships. I also decided to do work-study for 20 hours a week, which helped offset my costs even more. I used a combination of scholarships, loans, work-study, and the 25% from my parents, to finally figure out a way to afford UC Berkeley.

Asking for Help, Leveraging Resources, and Building My Resiliency

It was one of the most challenging moments of my life, but I asked for help, found the resources to support my education, and built resiliency to figure out a way out of this problem — my inability to afford the UC Berkeley tuition. At the time, it was approximately $25,000 per year for tuition, room and board, and books.

Growing up in one of the most expensive cities in the world, and figuring out how to pay for college and my own expenses from a young age, have truly helped me become a resilient person, who is deeply grateful for all of these chances to prove that I could do it despite the odds.

How the Poverty Mindset and Extreme Frugality Have Helped me Become Stronger

That being said, this poverty mindset / extreme frugality / original minimalist, is a way of thinking that I hope continues to serve me in a positive way only. I don’t want to continue believing that I am poor when I have learned how to save, invest, and diversify. I want to live with abundance and not get stuck in a poverty mindset of trying to scrimp here and there, save money, don’t turn on the heat in the winter, and just wear layers instead, etc.

I think there is inherent value in understanding how to save money, and I’ve always believed it’s easier to go from being poor to becoming rich, as you know how to save. The other way around would be more mentally challenging, I believe, although I have never personally gone through it.

Most importantly, I want to take the best of this resilience and inner strength to know that I can figure things out and make things happen with very few resources, and some would even argue, the odds were against me. I did this. I made it happen.

Coming Out as Poor (a.k.a Low Income)

But I am coming out as poor today, to say that it’s more common than we think. Yes, we all know the kids with trust funds and golden spoons, but we know far more people who couldn’t afford UC Berkeley and instead, decided to attend a local community college.

I hope this post inspires others to invest in scholarship funds that support youth who otherwise couldn’t afford an expensive university. I hope this post inspires people to fund Summer Search, the wonderful organization that helped me realize what truly is possible. And I hope I can help others take the best of the poverty mindset while living a full life of joy, happiness, and abundance.

Deep Gratitude for My Parents

I am also deeply grateful to my parents for providing a warm, happy family environment that fostered my growth and allowed me to show my true colors. They created the foundation for me to shine! They helped me become the strong, independent, fully capable woman I am today. Thank you mom and dad.